redmarsshit | test drive meme: november 2019

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!test drive

test drive meme: november 2019

Redshift: Welcome to the v͖͕̺̲̘̱̜͎o̴̦̣̠̦̘̹͞i̯̖d̛̪̬͈̱̦̝͍̕.

▶ Click here to read what characters will experience when arriving in Anchor.

▶ All TDM threads can be considered game canon, and current players are welcome to either top-level on the TDM so prospective players can tag them, or use the prompts for logs or network posts on the communities. All threads on the TDM can be used for Activity Check.

a. the truth hurts.

As though everything happening in the past month wasn't enough, there's been a minor explosion in one of the labs. No one hurt, if you don't count the hapless maintenance bot that caused the explosion in the first place.

But there are gases drifting through the laboratories, some of them making their way into the air vents, invisible to the purifiers in the system thanks to the explosion. And those gases are leaking into the air around Anchor, little pockets of danger waiting to be breathed in.

Those who breathe the gasses in might be the unluckiest Anchorites of all.

They're stuck telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth for the next five hours, give or take. Good luck with that!

b. retromedia.

Oblivious to what's going on inside Anchor, the shift rages outside, bringing shadows of things and places from other worlds, those things flickering into existence and out of it again.

The bad news is that the Whole Foods is gone.

The good news is the shift left something behind in its place.

A long, squat building, with cement walls painted over with stucco and punctuated by big windows. A flat roof with slanted sides, painted a deep blue. In bold yellow letters bolted to the roof, a sign:

BLOCKBUSTER
The sliding doors are broken, bouncing open and shut steadily, but the inside is clean and well-stocked with rack upon rack upon row upon row of VHS tapes, all of them neatly packaged in plastic boxes. Some of them have the movie covers on them, but most bear the Blockbuster logo and tiny labels running down the back, declaring the box's contents. There's a giant, somewhat busted up standee of Tim Allen as The Santa Clause, flickering holiday lights strung unevenly from the ceiling, and symbols of various seasonal holidays stuck up along the walls and windows.

Any movie you could possibly want lies within, or at least any movie you could possibly want that was released on Earth during or before 1994. And don’t worry if you can't find a VHS player in Anchor! There are whole shelves of VCRs tucked into one of the closets, apparently part of an aborted plan to rent out VCRs along with movies.

Poor Blockbuster. They were innovators. And now they're lost to the sands of the red shift.

c. sweet sweet self-care.

While sickness persists inside Anchor's walls, those in recovery seem to be getting better every day. And while the health bots have been working overtime, some of their processes have gotten a little borked up from all the work they've been doing.

Along with medical care, they're now administering lectures to their captive audiences about the value of diet and exercise, the importance of personal hygiene, and the healing properties of massage. Some of them are forcing massages on people just to prove their point, which, y'know, could be a lot worse. At least they're good at massages?

The spa bots are getting in on the action, nagging the healthy to come for relaxation and decontamination in one gloriously bubbly swoop. They've converted several of their spa pools into sweet-smelling antibacterial baths, so you can make extra-sure you got those visiting-a-sick-friend cooties off!

No, seriously, go with them. Before they drag you there and make you take a bath like an unruly two-year-old.

Believe them, it's worth it. If you complete a circuit of the spa, including the antibacterial baths and the fresh and zesty decontamination shower, you get a shiny sparkly holographic sticker that says "YOU ARE FREE OF DISEASE" in little cheerful bubble-letters. They designed them all by themselves, totally from scratch. Are you proud?

d. the network.

Need to get hold of someone, call for help, ask the city at large a question? Need to ask a friend which 1980s teen movie classic to watch at movie night? Maybe you need to hold your sat phone up to whatever crazy thing you're seeing and send out a recording to double-check if your eyes are deceiving you and what you're looking at is real?

Whatever the reason, the network is going strong, so feel free to include a post to it in your top-levels.

Navigation.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"For the good of all of us, please do not. I used to work with someone who was hungover every morning and often forgot to shower. It was not a pleasant time." As much as he liked McCree, and the man might have been the only friend he had, having to stand next to someone who smelled like a distillery was not great.

"If it actually helps with disease that is an added bonus. I was not ill, so I'm unsure, but at least I got a sticker."

Priorities.

"Don't worry, don't worry, I shower regularly." He has a girlfriend that he would very much like to keep, he's not going to let himself get stinky.

But yeah bro, your priorities are a little bit weird.

"I wasn't sick this time, but I was the first time this thing was circulating. Then my girlfriend got super sick, and I've been spending a lot of time with her, so I figured I'd just get this thing over with."

"Maybe it will make you immune. Helpful if you are with someone who is sick. Is she better now?" Happy with his sticker placement he reattaches his scabbard and wakizashi to his waist. Nothing says fearsome ninja like a holographic sticker and a turnip-octopus charm.

"The robots have been very demanding lately. Are they always like that? They forced me into clothes, tried to feed me syrup, and now this."

"Yeah. I think she's been feeling better." She says she is, anyway. She could just be trying to keep him from worrying so much. And dude, nobody's gonna fuck with a ninja that has cute stickers and charms hanging off the things he's going to kill you with, that ninja obviously fears nothing.

"They uh, the robots can be a little weird sometimes. I don't know if it's a glitch in their programming, or if they'd just been without human interaction for so long and they're just overly excited, or what. They don't seem dangerous, at least, but if they get that way I might have to put 'em down. ... Shut 'em down. For-- for repairs, not like, robot murder. That sounded a little dark."

"That is good. And maybe once you have had it you become immune for the future so she won't have it again?" Which doesn't bode well for Genji who didn't get sick either time. He's not even sure he has an immune system anymore.

"They do seem very happy to see us. And yes, that sounded grim, but.." He trails off trying to figure out how to say: you seem so unthreatening, in a way that isn't an insult. Fortunately he hasn't breathed in all the truth gas yet so he's able to finish that off with, "You don't seem the type to go on a murderous rampage against robots."

"Maybe. I'm really hoping that this is the last we'll see of it." There has been some really shitty stuff happening in Anchor, but this incident had by far been the worst, not to mention the most stressful.

Honestly, being called unthreatening wouldn't come across as insulting to Peter. He doesn't want to seem threatening, half because his little nerd ass loves making friends, but also half because it's something that he could totally use to his advantage if he gets into a fight.

But no one time he legit went on a murderous rampage against robots that helped lead to the eradication of their entire robot species but that's a trauma he's trying to leave behind, so.

"Not unless someone brings Skynet online, anyway."

"It is strange that it happened to begin with, we were all forced through decontamination when we arrived." Though maybe a shower isn't enough to eradicate space flu. He's not a doctor, he doesn't know.

The reference is lost on him, but he presumes it's a bad thing from his world that involves robots, "Can you actually reprogram them and fix them? They may appreciate that, some of them seem to be malfunctioning."

"True, but when we first got here, there wasn't a crazy space virus trying to wipe us out." Maybe the robots put some kinda anti-virus goop into the spa water or something, like who even knows with these robots.

"I'm better at fixing the mechanical parts, and I know a guy who's really good at programming. I think we'll be able to get them up and running correctly again, we just need a little time. ...Or a lot of time. It's a lot of robots."

"It had to have come from somewhere." Right? He's pretty sure that's how diseases work.

"That is good then, since we have so many robots and they are all .. slightly odd." He shakes his head, "They do not seem to really be sentient, not the way that I am used to back home. They do seem to have autonomy, but they do not really seem to be alive."

"Yeah, well. Everything comes from somewhere," which sounds cryptic as all hell, but it's the best Peter's got. Had it come from outside? The redshift? The animals up in the agricultural area? He had no goddamn idea. He really hated not knowing.

"Nah, these guys are pretty basic, their AI isn't very advanced. They can follow their programming and other basic functions, but that's about it. I knew some robot guys in the last place I was stuck who were like, aside from their appearance, indistinguishable from talking to a human. I can kind of understand how this might be jarring."

"That is how they are where I am from. Most are more human than some people I've met." You know, like himself. He shakes his head, "It is quite strange to see these ones, I have attempted to talk to them but they do not seem to understand me. And last time they kept trying to get me to eat syrup."

Not that he didn't want the goop, because it seemed like pure sugar and he's all about that life, but he's not taking his mask off for that.

"I am simply thankful they still function. We would all be fighting to not have to do basic chores." He'd be the whiniest ninja about taking the trash out.

"Talking to these guys is like talking to roombas, only with better vocabularies." Peter had managed to avoid being force-fed the syrup, mostly because he'd worked through most of that up until Qubit locked him out of the lab.

"But honestly, I feel that. I don't wanna have to dust and wash the windows on top of everything else I do."

"I like the beeping vacuums a little better. These seem like poor human replicas. I want to shake them and make them snap out of it, even though I know that's not possible."

He's unsettled by robots that aren't really sentient.

"It seems that you and Qubit are dong most of the technological work. Is there anything I can assist with? I do not feel as if I am contributing anything." Being a walking nightlight isn't much.

"Yeah, I can see that being a little unnerving. Maybe it would be better if they were shaped like dogs?"

Dogs are cute, robots that look like dogs could be cute, everybody wins.

"Weeeeeeeeeeell, what kind of skills do you have? Aside from badass ninja skills."

"Do they make dog robots?" There's plenty of robots and omnics in his world but none of them are really animal shaped. Orisa is vaguely a cow, but she certainly doesn't act like one.

"That is what I have been trained for my whole life, there is not much else. But I can sneak into places if that is necessary." He's struggling here, trying to think of non-ninja, non-murdery things he's good at that are practical. So not video games.

"I can be a nightlight?"

"I'm sure someone does somewhere in the multiverse." Robots were a thing in Peter's world, they were an even bigger thing in Hadriel. Who even knows, man.

"Well... let's brainstorm a bit. You probably have to do a lot of maintenance on yourself, right? Just make sure everything's working right?"

"Certainly. But I don't think my cybernetics are built in the same was as the robotics here." He holds his arm out, sliding back the panel where his shurikens are.

You tell him Peter.

"Well, experience is still experi-whoa dude," And that would be Peter Parker being very impressed by a Nerd Thing.

"Dude, your armaments are built into you!? That's so efficient, can I-- can I see?" He wants to touch your robo bits Genji.

Genji is considering his options here. Peter is probably the closest thing to a cyberneticist that he'll find in this place and he also said that he works with nanotechnology. So should anything actually go wrong with Genji's armor he may be the best one to ask for help.

Though on the other hand ~~heh~~ that also means letting someone see how Genji's armor is constructed which could expose weaknesses. But it's also Peter who looks like he'd probably break into a cold sweat if he had to jaywalk.

Retracting the plate he holds his metal arm out, palm up as an offering that Peter can inspect it if he wants, "Yes, but you cannot take my arm apart. I need it."

PLEASE LET PETER REPAIR YOUR FABULOUS ROBOBODY SOME DAY GENJIIIII he won't even etch his initials into it somewhere hidden that only he knows about.

But yes, that is a very accurate description of Peter, and he is now inspecting the HELL out of this arm.

Nah, I don't need to anyway, I can see how it goes together. Can you flex your wrist down, like this?" He demonstrates with his own wrist. He's tryna learn how you work, Genj.

If he finds "peter wuz here" inside the panel of his foot he's going to be very displeased.

He obediently twists his arm as instructed, he's had years of being poked and prodded by Dr. O'Deorain who had a far worse bedside manner, so he's more than willing to show Peter how his arm works. "It goes up over my shoulder, to here."

Indicating a place on his chest with his other arm, he feels weirdly vulnerable here. Like he's telling someone his weaknesses, even indicating just how much of his arm is machine seems like admitting too much. But he's trusting Peter to not actually try and take him apart.

Synthetic impulses in his arm let his brain know what it's doing and control it, but he can't really feel anything with it. There's a phantom sensation, of touching things or being touched, but it feels subdued, not quite real. Or it's the complete opposite all pins and needles when he's fully aware of every bit of metal in him, every port and wire. Those days are the worst, and he can feel it in his jaw currently. He's been talking too much lately, and the chassis making up his mandible isn't pleased about it.

"Similar to what you have in your world?"

Don't worry, Peter's too classy for that. He'd leave a smiley.

Peter is absolutely fascinated by all this. He's all up in Genji's grill while also trying to be polite and not get too far up in his personal bubble. It's probably a little awkward looking but that's Peter Parker for you. The good news is he does not try to take Genji apart, but he sure is formulating in his head just how he'd be able to safely do that. Y'know, for future medical repair purposes.

"Dude, you are incredible. I've never seen anything this extensive before. Like, I've seen fully mechanical prosthetic limbs, but to my knowledge that's about the extent of our cybernetic prosthetic development."

That's probably a compliment. That feels like it's supposed to be a compliment, but Genji is undeniably awkward about it.

"Thank you? I did not do it to myself however, it took several teams of doctors and scientists many years to get to this point." He flexes his fingers, watching as the plates in his arm twist and bend, a robot approximation of what skin would do.

It's a little hard to truly be impressed with the mechanical bits that keep him alive and mobile when he spends a lot of time wishing it had never happened to begin with. "It takes forever to clean."

"I-- yeah, sorry, that came out weird."

It's totally a compliment. He likes your body, Genji, but not in an eyebrow waggle sort of way.

"Would soaking at the spa help or can you uh... can you be submerged?"

"It's not waterproof, but it is water resistant. I've already been in the spa, and now I'm going to take all day to dry." Granted he could just take his armor off or sit in a bowl of rice, but he's not going to do either of those things so instead he's going to whine about it.

"The inside cannot though, where the wiring is." He's never actually gotten any of that wet but he assumes he'd short circuit and die. Not going to tempt that.

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