Yeah, no way. I'm only scared of you in that I really want him to like me, why are my social skills so shitty? kind of way.
[ Ben's face is red with embarrassment because he sounds like a dumb teenager, and sure, there are reasons for that. Even when he was alive he was too busy going on missions and training and generally hating his life and himself to really practice this stuff. But even so? Mortifying.
And it only gets worse. ]
Most people have a bad sense of what they ought to be afraid of, anyway. They look at anybody who's different or anything they don't understand and they assume that's what evil is. That's why they called me a monster and my father a benevolent man even though-
[ But before that train can derail any further, Ben forces his hands over his mouth, muffling whatever evidence was going to pour out about all the reasons those epithets ought to have been switched. He waits until Genji has explained his experiences, how he'd wished for death, before he dares to uncover his mouth again. When he does, however, the words that come out are kinder than before. ]
I don't know. I can't make that comparison. I haven't been through what you went through, and you haven't been through what I went through. It wasn't agony, being a ghost. I didn't feel any pain. I didn't feel anything. It was just. Hollow. And hopeless. And unchanging. And very, very lonely. But - you probably were, too...?
[ Ben doesn't know if Genji had had friends and family around supporting him through whatever injuries had landed him in his current state, but even if he did, that didn't stop it being a singular and lonely experience. ]
no subject
[ Ben's face is red with embarrassment because he sounds like a dumb teenager, and sure, there are reasons for that. Even when he was alive he was too busy going on missions and training and generally hating his life and himself to really practice this stuff. But even so? Mortifying.
And it only gets worse. ]
Most people have a bad sense of what they ought to be afraid of, anyway. They look at anybody who's different or anything they don't understand and they assume that's what evil is. That's why they called me a monster and my father a benevolent man even though-
[ But before that train can derail any further, Ben forces his hands over his mouth, muffling whatever evidence was going to pour out about all the reasons those epithets ought to have been switched. He waits until Genji has explained his experiences, how he'd wished for death, before he dares to uncover his mouth again. When he does, however, the words that come out are kinder than before. ]
I don't know. I can't make that comparison. I haven't been through what you went through, and you haven't been through what I went through. It wasn't agony, being a ghost. I didn't feel any pain. I didn't feel anything. It was just. Hollow. And hopeless. And unchanging. And very, very lonely. But - you probably were, too...?
[ Ben doesn't know if Genji had had friends and family around supporting him through whatever injuries had landed him in his current state, but even if he did, that didn't stop it being a singular and lonely experience. ]