[ If he could, Ben would deflect right now, make up some slightly more flattering reason why he hadn't led with talking about that first kiss. In his enthusiasm over Cole, he's forgotten for a moment about whatever it is compelling his absolute honesty, so he opens his mouth to answer and what comes out is the whole truth, unvarnished: ]
I was worried I would sound stupid and too excited about something that shouldn't even be a big deal and I'm embarrassed because you're way more experienced than me, and I just sound like some stupid preteen getting his first crush, and it meant so much to me and I was afraid you were gonna laugh.
[ Ben shakes his head, as if he could jar those worries loose, let them fall off him. Now that he's brought it up, he is bursting to actually talk about it, so he keeps going: ]
But it was amazing, kissing him. It was so much better than I thought, and he's never been with anybody before, either, so I don't feel self-conscious. He said... we're courting, and I really, really, really like him, Allison.
[ He is even, right now, looking forward later to telling Cole that he'd told Allison. Wondering what he'll say. Missing him, even though he saw him so recently. He's totally infatuated, and he knows it.
From the sound of it, though, Cole hadn't explained to Allison what he is, or if he had, it hadn't been an explanation she could fully grasp. It had taken Ben some time before he understood completely - or at least as completely as he does now - and so he is all too ready to fill in the gaps for her. ]
Well, he comes from a world that's super different to ours. They've got elves and dwarves and demons and mages and stuff. There's this realm called the Fade, where people go in their dreams, and that's also where demons and spirits live. Spirits are like ... like different emotions, but they're living beings. So there's a spirit that's Justice, there's one that's Rage, you know, that sort of thing. Cole is Compassion. The spirits come through, sometimes - for lots of reasons.
[ Ben knows mostly about the circumstances around Cole becoming the Cole he is now, but there are other spirits that Cole has mentioned. He might only be giving Allison a tiny piece of the puzzle. But it's a start. ]
So there was a human, a mage, named Cole. He had this... this really sad, deprived, horrible, shitty life. And he got thrown in a dungeon by these motherfuckers called Templars, and they - forgot him. So he was starving to death, and all alone and miserable, and Compassion showed up to comfort him. And Cole, human Cole, wanted to not be forgotten. He wanted so badly to... have lived a life where he wasn't a mage, where he... where all this bad stuff didn't happen. And so Compassion... stayed with him while he died and then took on his memories and, sort of, parts of him. And Compassion made a body for himself to look like the human Cole, and took on his name.
[ The story had been tragic enough even before the shift had brought through a part of that awful place. Now that he's seen it, though, been inside that pit? Ben shudders, imagining what it must have been like. Locked up in the dark, alone, slowly, painfully starving to death. He shakes the thought away, finishes: ]
So... Cole is Cole, but he's Compassion, too. He's not really a human, but he's not exactly all spirit anymore, either. He's sort of... in between.
no subject
I was worried I would sound stupid and too excited about something that shouldn't even be a big deal and I'm embarrassed because you're way more experienced than me, and I just sound like some stupid preteen getting his first crush, and it meant so much to me and I was afraid you were gonna laugh.
[ Ben shakes his head, as if he could jar those worries loose, let them fall off him. Now that he's brought it up, he is bursting to actually talk about it, so he keeps going: ]
But it was amazing, kissing him. It was so much better than I thought, and he's never been with anybody before, either, so I don't feel self-conscious. He said... we're courting, and I really, really, really like him, Allison.
[ He is even, right now, looking forward later to telling Cole that he'd told Allison. Wondering what he'll say. Missing him, even though he saw him so recently. He's totally infatuated, and he knows it.
From the sound of it, though, Cole hadn't explained to Allison what he is, or if he had, it hadn't been an explanation she could fully grasp. It had taken Ben some time before he understood completely - or at least as completely as he does now - and so he is all too ready to fill in the gaps for her. ]
Well, he comes from a world that's super different to ours. They've got elves and dwarves and demons and mages and stuff. There's this realm called the Fade, where people go in their dreams, and that's also where demons and spirits live. Spirits are like ... like different emotions, but they're living beings. So there's a spirit that's Justice, there's one that's Rage, you know, that sort of thing. Cole is Compassion. The spirits come through, sometimes - for lots of reasons.
[ Ben knows mostly about the circumstances around Cole becoming the Cole he is now, but there are other spirits that Cole has mentioned. He might only be giving Allison a tiny piece of the puzzle. But it's a start. ]
So there was a human, a mage, named Cole. He had this... this really sad, deprived, horrible, shitty life. And he got thrown in a dungeon by these motherfuckers called Templars, and they - forgot him. So he was starving to death, and all alone and miserable, and Compassion showed up to comfort him. And Cole, human Cole, wanted to not be forgotten. He wanted so badly to... have lived a life where he wasn't a mage, where he... where all this bad stuff didn't happen. And so Compassion... stayed with him while he died and then took on his memories and, sort of, parts of him. And Compassion made a body for himself to look like the human Cole, and took on his name.
[ The story had been tragic enough even before the shift had brought through a part of that awful place. Now that he's seen it, though, been inside that pit? Ben shudders, imagining what it must have been like. Locked up in the dark, alone, slowly, painfully starving to death. He shakes the thought away, finishes: ]
So... Cole is Cole, but he's Compassion, too. He's not really a human, but he's not exactly all spirit anymore, either. He's sort of... in between.