redmarsshit | test drive meme: november 2019

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test drive meme: november 2019

Redshift: Welcome to the v͖͕̺̲̘̱̜͎o̴̦̣̠̦̘̹͞i̯̖d̛̪̬͈̱̦̝͍̕.

▶ Click here to read what characters will experience when arriving in Anchor.

▶ All TDM threads can be considered game canon, and current players are welcome to either top-level on the TDM so prospective players can tag them, or use the prompts for logs or network posts on the communities. All threads on the TDM can be used for Activity Check.

a. the truth hurts.

As though everything happening in the past month wasn't enough, there's been a minor explosion in one of the labs. No one hurt, if you don't count the hapless maintenance bot that caused the explosion in the first place.

But there are gases drifting through the laboratories, some of them making their way into the air vents, invisible to the purifiers in the system thanks to the explosion. And those gases are leaking into the air around Anchor, little pockets of danger waiting to be breathed in.

Those who breathe the gasses in might be the unluckiest Anchorites of all.

They're stuck telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth for the next five hours, give or take. Good luck with that!

b. retromedia.

Oblivious to what's going on inside Anchor, the shift rages outside, bringing shadows of things and places from other worlds, those things flickering into existence and out of it again.

The bad news is that the Whole Foods is gone.

The good news is the shift left something behind in its place.

A long, squat building, with cement walls painted over with stucco and punctuated by big windows. A flat roof with slanted sides, painted a deep blue. In bold yellow letters bolted to the roof, a sign:

BLOCKBUSTER
The sliding doors are broken, bouncing open and shut steadily, but the inside is clean and well-stocked with rack upon rack upon row upon row of VHS tapes, all of them neatly packaged in plastic boxes. Some of them have the movie covers on them, but most bear the Blockbuster logo and tiny labels running down the back, declaring the box's contents. There's a giant, somewhat busted up standee of Tim Allen as The Santa Clause, flickering holiday lights strung unevenly from the ceiling, and symbols of various seasonal holidays stuck up along the walls and windows.

Any movie you could possibly want lies within, or at least any movie you could possibly want that was released on Earth during or before 1994. And don’t worry if you can't find a VHS player in Anchor! There are whole shelves of VCRs tucked into one of the closets, apparently part of an aborted plan to rent out VCRs along with movies.

Poor Blockbuster. They were innovators. And now they're lost to the sands of the red shift.

c. sweet sweet self-care.

While sickness persists inside Anchor's walls, those in recovery seem to be getting better every day. And while the health bots have been working overtime, some of their processes have gotten a little borked up from all the work they've been doing.

Along with medical care, they're now administering lectures to their captive audiences about the value of diet and exercise, the importance of personal hygiene, and the healing properties of massage. Some of them are forcing massages on people just to prove their point, which, y'know, could be a lot worse. At least they're good at massages?

The spa bots are getting in on the action, nagging the healthy to come for relaxation and decontamination in one gloriously bubbly swoop. They've converted several of their spa pools into sweet-smelling antibacterial baths, so you can make extra-sure you got those visiting-a-sick-friend cooties off!

No, seriously, go with them. Before they drag you there and make you take a bath like an unruly two-year-old.

Believe them, it's worth it. If you complete a circuit of the spa, including the antibacterial baths and the fresh and zesty decontamination shower, you get a shiny sparkly holographic sticker that says "YOU ARE FREE OF DISEASE" in little cheerful bubble-letters. They designed them all by themselves, totally from scratch. Are you proud?

d. the network.

Need to get hold of someone, call for help, ask the city at large a question? Need to ask a friend which 1980s teen movie classic to watch at movie night? Maybe you need to hold your sat phone up to whatever crazy thing you're seeing and send out a recording to double-check if your eyes are deceiving you and what you're looking at is real?

Whatever the reason, the network is going strong, so feel free to include a post to it in your top-levels.

Navigation.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Ben's hit the nail on the head. Peter blames himself for a lot of things, but what happened to his uncle is way up at the top, as was the pain it had caused his Aunt. He tries pushing that to the back of his mind again so he doesn't just have another breakdown in front of Ben while they're trying to have a conversation.]

I totally would have felt the same way if I was in your place.

[It's kind of ridiculous how much Peter and Ben have in common. He doesn't think that anything Ben had been through is his fault at all, though, and it is starting to sink in how hypocritical it is to continue to blame himself for things that ultimately weren't his fault. It isn't an easy habit to break, but Ben's right. It's something he really should work on.

Aaaaand he'll start working on it as soon as he can stop his eyes from doing that pesky leaking thing. He's never told anyone about his uncle, he's never told anyone about how he feels like it's his fault, and so nobody's ever told him that it wasn't and wow he wasn't expecting to have this many emotions today. He's not so sure he agrees with that yet, but it's definitely enough to get him thinking about it.]

S-sorry, I just... I never even told my aunt about this.

[ allison takes the tape and loads it into the vcr, pressing play. she grins. don't take her word for it, majima -- you've gotta see it to believe it. ]

Allison.

[ she says, by way of introduction.

the movie begins, opening with a massive gun battle before the whole screen displays nothing but flames and arnold schwarzenegger's name. allison grins. aw yeah!!! she tilts her head towards majima, trying to gauge how he reacts. ]

[ Reynir's right, but oh, but it would have been funny to see him try. ]

Prove its importance, then. I'm listening.

[ Starscream just scoffs. But he will definitely be double-checking the width of doorways for the foreseeable future, so thanks for that, Kabal. ]

That much, at least I can agree to.

[ Although he's more used to ordering his subordinates to doing tasks and punishing them if they dare fail. Same difference. ]

[ Starscream's going to find there's indeed a lot of areas that will be inaccessible. He might not realize it yet, but he's going to end up having to rely a lot more on the other Anchor residents than he's expecting. ]

For someone who hasn't deigned to give me his name yet, you're very presumptuous about the qualifications of my frame.

[ If it's one thing Starscream is good at, it's boasting about himself. A few well-placed compliments to him and he could even be considered congenial. Back straight, wings high in confidence, he'll let Qubit set the pace for the moment. ]

Very well.

[ haughtily: ] And I am Starscream, Lord and Commander of the Decepticons and rightful ruler of Cybertron.

[ Conveniently ignoring what Megatron had said about the Decepticons being no more. Not if Starscream has anything to say about it!! ]

[To that, Lalli wants to... if not deny it, then brush it off. Shrug. Maybe say something vague and passive-aggressive and let Reynir take it as he likes, but nothing like a serious, honest answer.

It's unfortunate that circumstances refuse to cooperate with him.]

It's not bad.

[And in case that seems safe enough...]

You're just annoying.

And everything is weird with Onni and you're around all the time now and it makes me not want to be in the apartment, except I keep running into you everywhere else too and I'm tired of it.

[Aaaand here he finally does clap his hands over his mouth, his eyes wide and horrified.]

I didn't mean to say that.

[ So off they go! The main walkways are tall enough for Starscream, at least, but probably not spacious. There might even be spots where he'd have to duck. Who knows?

"Cybertron" is a bit on the nose, but what really gets Qubit to raise an eyebrow is "Decepticons." Because that kinda sounds a little bit shady as hell. ]

Can't say I've heard of either.

Yeah, no way. I'm only scared of you in that I really want him to like me, why are my social skills so shitty? kind of way.

[ Ben's face is red with embarrassment because he sounds like a dumb teenager, and sure, there are reasons for that. Even when he was alive he was too busy going on missions and training and generally hating his life and himself to really practice this stuff. But even so? Mortifying.

And it only gets worse. ]

Most people have a bad sense of what they ought to be afraid of, anyway. They look at anybody who's different or anything they don't understand and they assume that's what evil is. That's why they called me a monster and my father a benevolent man even though-

[ But before that train can derail any further, Ben forces his hands over his mouth, muffling whatever evidence was going to pour out about all the reasons those epithets ought to have been switched. He waits until Genji has explained his experiences, how he'd wished for death, before he dares to uncover his mouth again. When he does, however, the words that come out are kinder than before. ]

I don't know. I can't make that comparison. I haven't been through what you went through, and you haven't been through what I went through. It wasn't agony, being a ghost. I didn't feel any pain. I didn't feel anything. It was just. Hollow. And hopeless. And unchanging. And very, very lonely. But - you probably were, too...?

[ Ben doesn't know if Genji had had friends and family around supporting him through whatever injuries had landed him in his current state, but even if he did, that didn't stop it being a singular and lonely experience. ]

[ Oh, no. Ben had known that his words would likely provoke a strong emotional reaction, and he understands that in this case, crying is probably the healthiest thing possible for Peter. But it really is awful, seeing his eyes go glassy like that, seeing his expression crumpling bit by bit even as he tries to hold the emotion back and apologizes.

Ben abandons his food where it's sitting, getting up and quietly moving to the other side of the table, pulling a chair up close to Peter's, as close as he can get, so he can sling an arm around Peter's shoulders, gripping tight. It's not much, but it's something. A small measure of comfort and support. ]

I'm so sorry about your uncle. I'm sorry you went through that. And I'm sorry you've been carrying this so long without being able to share it.

[ Ben sighs, silent for a few moments as he considers. It's a heavy thing, Peter trusting him like this. Sure, there is truth gas helping him along as well, but Peter had told him this, and that means Ben has a responsibility to be here for him, the best he can. ]

Sometimes it's harder with family. Your aunt lost him, too. So that makes it complicated. I- couldn't ever talk about dying, to Klaus. Even though we could always tell each other everything. It - it messed him up a lot, how I died, so - I never wanted to cause the hurt I would cause by talking about it.

[ Ben drops his head to the side, squeezing Peter's shoulders a bit tighter. His voice is fervent as he goes on: ]

It wasn't your fault, Peter. I know I already said that, but. Well, I'm just gonna keep saying it 'cause it's true and I gotta tell the truth right now and honestly I think you need to keep hearing it a few more times. It wasn't your fault that your uncle died. It isn't your fault when bad things happen. You're not a freakin' god. You're just a guy. You're a very, very good guy, who deserves to forgive himself for only being human.

I don't have to prove anything to you, and I doubt you would understand, anyway, even if I tried.

[ Who starts fights with random strangers? Dense people, that's who. ]

[ On it's own, what Lalli says isn't that bad at all. It's not like Reynir didn't already know it, that Lalli finds him annoying, that he doesn't want Reynir around. But it's different, hearing it put so bluntly. Looking at Lalli's face as he says it right to him.

You're just annoying.
You're around all the time.
I'm tired of it.
What do you want?
Go away
Go away, Reynir.

The words, fresh and remembered, drown out what Lalli had said a moment before about it being not bad. It makes it hard to care that Lalli is insisting he didn't intend to say it - he'd so clearly meant the words that his regret feels hollow.

What does stick is a sinking, cold feeling that all his efforts have been thrown away. Lalli doesn't like him any better now than he did the first day they'd met. Lalli is never going to like him, not even a little bit. Lalli wishes he would go away, forever. The sadness is a sharp thing, almost a physical weight in Reynir's chest.

Quietly, he murmurs: ]

Oh. Okay.

[ There is defeat in the sag of Reynir's shoulders, in the quietness of his voice. All that bubbly brightness in him that usually makes him such a pest to Lalli is nowhere to be found. He's naturally cheerful, sure, but it takes an effort sometimes, projecting that out, giving it to other people. Reynir hasn't got that effort in him, now.

But the words keep coming, unbidden. Whatever had made Lalli tell the truth is making him tell it, too. Reynir thinks of himself as honest but... there are things he doesn't say, normally. He's saying them, now. ]

I wanted you to like me really bad. But I guess that was stupid. I'm stupid. I should have given up a while ago. I - wanted to be friends, but you just hurt my feelings, all the time.

[ Anne is chewing at Reynir's boot, but he doesn't notice it, standing still and frozen with sadness, like a miserable statue. ]

And you hurt Onni, too. I'm not sure you even realize how much.

[ Reynir knows a topic being avoided when he sees one but he's not gonna be a dick about it. Why dwell on the bad? ]

That is so cool! Does everyone get around in boats? Is it warm there? Are there palm trees?

[ Ben listens to Arya's reasons, and he can see how much it's hurting her, giving these answers. He should have found a way not to ask it - even if he had wanted to know, and even if the answer makes his heart go out to the girl. She may think it makes her sound like a monster, but it would be very hard indeed, to make Ben Hargreeves think any child was a monster, no matter what they did.

And Arya by the sound of it has many, many reasons. War. Grief. Revenge. Righteous outrage and justice. Coping. Self-defense.

He doesn't think she is a bad person, and he doesn't think she is weak, for being scared and needing to find ways to deal with it. He'd done awful things because he was scared, too. Her insistence that she felt nothing at all... he isn't buying it. There's a difference between being cruel and cutting off your feelings to survive. Ben's been in that place. Only briefly, but. He knows what it's like. ]

You don't have to apologize. I did want to hear it. And I don't think you're a bad person. You sound like you have had a very hard life, and like you are doing the best that you know how to do.

[ After all that - war, the loss of her family - Ben's own little tragedy seems very little, indeed. He shrugs. (These are the things he does, too, to diminish it, distance himself from the reality of all the violence). ]

It's what I was taught to do, all my life. I was born with powers that make it very easy for me to kill a lot of people very quickly, and so my dad made me into a tool to do that. I didn't- I didn't want to but. There are lots of ways to get people to do things they don't want to do. Especially when they're just little kids. So he would lock me up and starve me til I was willing to hurt animals and then he would lock me up and starve me til I was willing to hurt people and eventually he would just threaten my siblings and after a while he didn't have to do any of it. I just stopped fighting. I wanted to be useful, and I believed it when he told me I was a monster. I could at least be a useful monster for him.

[ allison shakes her head and clicks her tounge a little. tsk, tsk ben. it's not just about christina's singing, or her look -- she's the total package. a real star. a proper entertainer, and as far as allison knows, she didn't even have to kill or brainwash anyone to get there! an icon!

allison laughs. ]

Does it make you feel better or worse that those probably aren't real? I mean, growing up I definitely thought they were, but I cannot imagine that's what having a """"lab partner"""" or a crush is like.

[ but it sure is entertaining! allison is having a great time, sharing this with ben. it's like seeing all this with fresh eyes, and there's a whole layer of sheer humor that she never picked up on as a child that she's very much enjoying now.

allison's brow furrows at ben's question. he really, really does not get it, does he? ]

It's not classy at all but yeah? She's gorgeous. I wanted to look like her for years.

[ allison just sorta......looks at ben, doing a little mental gymnastics. ]

Wait are you not into her? [ allison means to stop typing there, but for some reason, she doesn't. ] Because if she asked me to make out I'd totally say yes.

[ allison slowly sets her phone on the table, turning beet red. she's never said that to anyone -- never even fully articulated that to herself. ]

[ Not classy is putting it mildly, but Ben just snorts at that careful wording. He's opening his mouth to launch into a whole lecture about how gorgeous Allison is, way better than this bland-ass magazine lady who looks like every other bland symmetrical glossy magazine lady, but then Allison takes the phone back to type more. And something about the way she's looking at Ben, her eyes narrowed a bit, makes him clam up.

Oh, he really hadn't meant to broach any of this. Not yet, anyway. It's not that he doesn't trust Allison, but it's just all so new and he doesn't have the right words and he's still getting used to it, letting her see parts of him that are vulnerable. And this is... about as vulnerable as it gets.

But then she's setting the phone down, and he reads the words and looks up at her. If she had just typed them and handed it over with a big grin, Ben would have dismissed it as hyperbole, a joke. But there's something about the way she sets it down, in her body language now sitting there looking at him. Her face is also really red.

Could it ... be that she just, well, means it? ]

Wait, so you like girls, too? Seriously? How long has that been a thing? 'Cause - I wasn't gonna tell you yet but I'm actually starting to think that maybe I... don't. Which isn't exactly a surprise. I had sort of given up on any of that kind of thing happening for me because I was dead for so long but I'm not, now, and I- might like guys, actually. Well, there's one guy. I really, really like this one guy, and he's a guy, so.

"Yeah, I can see that being a little unnerving. Maybe it would be better if they were shaped like dogs?"

Dogs are cute, robots that look like dogs could be cute, everybody wins.

"Weeeeeeeeeeell, what kind of skills do you have? Aside from badass ninja skills."

[ ben's words mostly just wash over allison. for a moment there, she seems to look not at him but through him, playing memory after memory in her mind, trying to figure out what she had just said, and more importantly, what she meant. was it not normal, the way she had idolized those women in magazines, the way she looked at them, wanted to re-make herself in their image, wanted to be them? fantasized being not just their best friends, but their very best friends, closer than she and luther, even. and besides, wasn't she married? it might not have been the best of marriages, but it was one she sought out?

but amid all that confusion, there's the beginnings of some resolution too, of things finally clicking into place, of feelings she could never really explain starting to make sense. allison holds onto that feeling, trying to let it ground herself, as she fixes her attention back on ben. ]

A long time I think? I guess I just never knew how to name it. I worked so hard at being the kind of girl dad wanted me to be, and what [ and gosh, isnt't this ironic? ] those magazines wanted me to be, I never stopped to think whether that was really me. It never occurred to me to stop and think.

[ allison, again, doesn't mean to say that much, didn't know she had that much to say. but once she starts typing, it all comes out so easily (so suspiciously easily!), and when she's done, she gives a small, sheepish smile.

and then ben says that there's a guy in his life, a guy that he likes, and that's when allison finally realizes -- it's not that he didn't get it. it's that ben gets it even better than allison had previously thought. she grins. ]

Wow, are we twins or something?

[ haha funny joke! allison winks. ]

But seriously, congratulations, that's so great! I mean it's sad that you had to give up on that kind of love but I'm happy you've got it now! Who's the lucky guy????????????

[ all those question marks are important, ok!! ]

[ arya, frankly, still doesn't understand that. to her, there are the people who do right and the people who do wrong, the good and the evil. arya thinks she's one of the evil -- given how many people she's killed, how can she not be? she's a lost cause, but at least she can take down as many other evil people with her. ]

Yes.

[ arya bites her lip and fiddles with the hem of her robe. ]

So much of a girl's family is dead, because of them. They deserve it.

[ thanks reynir, you're a real one. ]

What is a palm tree?

There are not many trees at all. Mostly marshes, and surrounding the city there are islands with mountains on them. It is usually chilly, but not terribly so. Lots of rain. In the winter the canals can freeze, but I have not experienced winter there yet. I was born in the summer, and our seasons are long.

It is cool. 😎

What is your world like? Aside from the very cool women who are mages and your terrible disease.

"Do they make dog robots?" There's plenty of robots and omnics in his world but none of them are really animal shaped. Orisa is vaguely a cow, but she certainly doesn't act like one.

"That is what I have been trained for my whole life, there is not much else. But I can sneak into places if that is necessary." He's struggling here, trying to think of non-ninja, non-murdery things he's good at that are practical. So not video games.

"I can be a nightlight?"

I suppose that is good as I have few friends and would not know how to go about making new ones. The armor is not a good first impression for people I would like to get to know. It actually used to be even worse.

[He knows where Ben is going with that, having read the comics he can presume some unkind things that were said and he winces in sympathy behind the armor. His own father had said many unpleasant things about Genji. Yet another thing they have in common.]

I was completely alone. My armor was different, to accommodate for all the medical procedures that needed to be done and there were these tubes that connected into my spine. I had to be plugged into a machine every evening for hours. My teammates went out drinking or to their quarters, and I was in the medical bay. I did not even have a private room.

More a science experiment than a person. Creating a living weapon.

[All of this feels both awkward, but also sort of a relief to be telling someone. Especially someone who probably isn't going to judge him.]

I seem significantly less cool once you know I had to be plugged in like a cell phone.

People who would let your armor get in the way of talking to you and getting to know you don't sound like people worth knowing in the first place, if you ask me.

[ Ben's voice is passionate, full of conviction. This isn't just the truth drug compelling him: this is something he would say aloud no matter what. There are so many people Ben has met at the Anchor and become friends with, but it has been possible in part because they are all strange in their own way, displaced and different. The people here... have been through things. Ben's sure he isn't the only one to have noticed. So, really, learning all this about Genji... well, it isn't a complete surprise. Ben listens to Genji speaking, offering no interruptions until he is finished.

Then, Ben doesn't just think it, but actually says aloud: ]

Damn. We've really have got a lot in common. You're talking to Number Six, remember? So I - know how it feels to be treated like a science experiment and not a person. I'm more used to that than- I mean I thought for years all kids just got covered in electrodes and hooked up to stuff before they went to bed, and had cameras in their rooms, and-

[ This time, instead of forcing himself to be silent, Ben simply thinks very hard about another truth he would rather be saying, tries to redirect that flow of unfiltered speech into an alternative channel: ]

And no, Genji. You don't seem any less cool because you managed to survive all of that and came out the other side of it. I'm sorry your teammates didn't realize how badly they were treating you, or maybe they did and they were just dicks I don't know, but the point is none of that changes what I said before. If anything, you seem even more badass, now.

[ Ben watches Allison, face soft as he sees her thinking hard, confused and quiet, and it dawns on him then. This wasn't some known, developed truth Allison had been keeping private from the press and her family. He's watching her making this discovery in real time, or at least being honest to herself about it, working on putting words to it for the first time.

And he feels so, so proud. Is this how Klaus had felt a few days ago, with him? Ben needs to give him another hug the next time he sees him. But for now, instead, he scoots close to Allison and drapes an arm across her shoulders, comfort and camaraderie, both. ]

You can do that thinking now, in this place. Figure out the you you wanna be. There's nothing here to stop you, or hold you back, and - and it isn't too late. If it somehow is not too late for me here then it definitely isn't for you.

[ Ben mirrors that smile from Allison; it's so much easier to talk to her about all this now that he knows she is still finding things out about herself. Hard to encourage her and shame himself for what a late bloomer he is proving to be. ]

And- if you wanna really be twins, maybe talk to Klaus? Honestly, he's ages ahead of both of us in that whole 'fuck it, just be who you are, no matter what people say' department.

[ But for the time being, Ben is the brother that's here with her, and he finds himself pouring his heart out: ]

It's not exactly like I've got it all figured out, now. I didn't even realize I liked him that way until Klaus sat me down and had a talk with me. I hadn't- really ever felt attracted to anybody before and I don't know if that is just a me thing or if it's because- because of my powers and how dad brought me up to think of myself as this repulsive monster that was a danger to anybody who got too close and who had to never... slip up or get carried away or all the evil inside me would just come pouring out-

[ Ben definitely knows that something is up, now. He'd been a little too honest before, but this is beyond the pale. He's never articulated any of this to Allison before, doesn't know how much of it she'd ever realized. It was one of Reggie's tricks, after all, isolating the siblings from one another. To control them better.

Best thing to do is just move on and pretend it never happened! He rubs at the back of his neck, cheeks flushing as he looks at all those question marks. A shy little smile comes onto his face as he says: ]

His- his name is Cole.

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test drive meme: november 2019

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