benhargreeves: (! aware)
benhargreeves ([personal profile] benhargreeves) wrote in [community profile] redmarsshit 2019-11-02 11:53 pm (UTC)

Ben isn't all that surprised to learn that Cole hadn't really participated in the festival back in Thedas. They both have histories - different, but parallel - of being on the outside looking in. Sir Reginald had had no time for something as frivolous as holidays. Grace had done her best to make them festive treats, to give little gifts and make some special moments and memories out of almost nothing. But it wasn't like what Ben had seen in movies, read about in books. It was a shadow of the real thing.

But now here they both are lying on the grass, at the goop festival, a part of it all. Ben feels a calm, settled sense of... belonging.

That calm is disturbed when Cole mentions the creatures on the other side of the portal, but only a very little. Just a few ripples of reflexive unease, before he adjusts. That sap stuff really does work wonders. Or maybe it's just - Cole. His presence, and the way he talks about them, and the fact that he keeps bringing them up, like they're not unspeakable monsters. It wasn't until he became friends with Cole that Ben realized how much time he spent trying to avoid thinking about them - and by extension, about himself. He buried himself in books, avoiding his family, avoiding the person he was and his powers.

But Cole just... talks about them. Like it's okay to do that. Like it's okay for them to be there, a part of Ben.

He settles a hand on top of his own stomach, making a wordless hum of consideration. After a long silence - some of it thoughtful, some of it less so as Ben's mind wanders, he says:

"I used to daydream about losing my powers. About finding some way to cut the connection for good. But... that's never gonna happen, is it?"

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